Relationships
Relationships are tricky. We have our family, we have our friends, we have our significant others, we have acquaintances, and our coworkers. Maybe some people fit into more than one of these categories.
I write about relationships frequently, because I believe that human interaction is so beautiful. Even when it’s breaking your heart, the interaction and emotions involved can be almost poetic.
I don’t know about you, but I never was taught that some relationships end. That some friends don’t stay and boys quit loving you. I never knew that some people’s intentions may not be as pure as my own.
These endings are hard for me. I have gone through several of them in my life. As a people pleaser, endings are even more traumatic. I often find myself scrapping for any form of validation I can get. I want to hear the words straight from the source, that I did nothing wrong. I need to know that I was not the reason they chose to abandon me.
The end of any relationship is 10x harder in 2020 because of social media. Majority of the people I am friends with on facebook, I have not talked to in years! So even when they are done with me, they still haunt me through the screen of our phone; taunting me with how great their life is without me.
As if that wasn’t bad enough, there is some sort of weird etiquette when it comes to social media. You can’t just go around unfriending and unfollowing people. People take this more personally than the fact that you haven’t spoken in several years. I mean it’s absolute madness.
I wish someone would talk about this more. I think all of us are being haunted by the ghosts in our phone. We want to know what they are doing, but not really. We want to like their pictures of their most recent girls trip, but then cringe at the fact that three years ago we would have been invited. It’s such a dangerous game to play.
This year I made a promise to myself that I would let these ghosts go. That I would let the broken relationships end. Instead of reaching out and instead of trying to bridge the gap, I would let it fade.
I didn’t even realize it at first, but this is a God thing. God brings people in and out of our life at different times for reasons unknown to us. I can’t be questioning that! I have to lean into him and what he’s doing in my life, even if that means taking away a friendship that I thought I would have forever.
How much clearer would our paths be if we hit unfollow, put down the phone, and showed up to God’s crazy plan that he has for us. Instead of resisting like I normally do, I am leaning into it all. It is painful at times, but I can feel the growth.
The people God weaves in and out of our lives are so beautiful. I would like to look back on those relationships with fondness. When I think of those people I want to send them love and well wishes. I think it’s a very freeing thought to know this is the kind of person I am working toward becoming.